Cermit Talks

In person, I can hear your tone. Over text I just see words. In person, I can see your smile. In texting I just see emojis. In person, I can see your eyes. In text all I see are characters. In person, I can hold your hand and understand what's happening while in the text the short answers give me nothing. In person, I can make you laugh and realize I don't need to go anywhere. Over text, I think of all the places that would be good to text when all I need is you. I don't need to go anywhere fancy and dress up all nice, I need to be with you wearing nothing but it feels right. I need to see your face and remember that the characters are not the same, the characters don't give me butterflies, the characters don't make me happy just sitting in bed doing nothing, and the characters don't love me like you do.

Are we okay? Are we alright? I sometimes don't know, I get thoughts that cloud my mind and my judgment that I am unsure if our relationship is fine. I will ask you, repeatedly, but don't get mad. It is not meant to hurt or insult you, I just need to hear you say we are okay. I need to hear you say you still love me when in my head all I hear from the voices of my emotions is that you are going to leave me, they have been right before but I need you to tell them they are wrong this time. They have to be wrong. I love you. Are we okay? Yes. I love you.

I had my goals. Marry, grow old, be happy with the person I was with. But when those things changed I lose sight of my goals. I have none. Yes simple ones like completing tasks but nothing long term. My heart has been broken too hard to even think of some things like that. Though some goals are personal, heart filled goals. I had a dream to inspire people. To touch peoples hearts and make them laugh. For a long time I created things on youtube, I never got very far, I made many many videos over the course of a few years. Though numbers aren't supposed to determine someones worth but I never got to help or touch the hearts of more than the people I already know. I wanted to help but I never could. Maybe it was my face, my voice, or just my reputation. I started this blog originally to work on my writing, a long time dream of mine was to be a writer but I am always to scared to share my words. After another heartbreak a few days after making this I deleted it. I started a new one

In the past 6 months, I have been through two breakups. Both serious relationships that I loved. My original plan for this post was to explain those relationships and how I got to this point. But I decided otherwise. Those relationships are in the past and I just want to move on and be happy with my life again. Relationships are a weird thing. Love is even weirder. All I know is I loved both of my ex's and they did me. It just ended up not working. For whatever reason, they were both out of the blue but I have found myself enough to move on. I was talking to a counselor and discussed how for me finding someone new to love is how I move on. In their words, I have so much love to give that it hurts when I can't share that with another person. Yes, both of my relationships I started dating someone a week or two later, but it is how I heal. I am not a bad person, just a loving one. I have found someone amazing who brings me joy. Yes, I have my moments but I have to move on. I ca

I have lived in this singular 9 x 9 room for 7 years. It was painted originally to compensate for a fellow roommate, who ended up leaving 6 months later. I was left with colors I did not love. Colors that darken a room. Over time the room has changed furniture and style but continued to be dark and not my own. I decided to renovate.  I had just got out o a relationship and I felt I was losing myself. I wanted to create a bright, new, welcoming environment for me to heal and move on in. And just to be happy with my place of habitation. I slowly started boxing everything up. After that I started removing old furniture. It was a long process because I couldn't get everything in boxes before moving the furniture. Eventually getting things all together I started painting. I got a all in one paint that was a creamsicle color. I would have gone with white but I thought an off-color would look better with the furniture. Painting took longer than expected but I was really proud of myself

Hello! I know it been a while but I have so much to share. Since the last time I have been here, I have changed momentous things in my life and I have become happy where I am. I want to go into more detail in different posts but to update you.. I have completely renovated my room. I am in a relationship. And I feel good about a lot of things. I hope you follow for more details and just writing overall. I am sad I missed so many days of opportunity but I hope from now on I can continue my goal, definitely with more positivity.

I can't today. When I feel like this, when I think like this, I have to just repeat to myself. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you.  He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love yo

I didn't entirely know what to write so I decided to tell my orders for some of my favorite restaurants. Subway: Footlong turkey breast on Italian herb and cheese. American cheese, nontoasted. Lettuce, spinach, tomato, cucumber, lots of olives, sometimes red onions or green bell pepper. Covered with ranch, honey mustard or sweet onion, czar or thousand islands. Taco Bell: Classic things are; crunch wrap supreme, cheesy gordita crunch, spicy potato taco, supreme burrito, and Doritos Locos Tacos. Seasonal; burrito taco, nacho fries. Denny's: Bourbon bacon burger, with lots of bourbons, sometimes add avocados. With fries and a sprite or tea.

I want a new start. I have decided to completely change my current surroundings and I am so excited to do so. My entire room will be renovated to an entirely new look. My walls currently are bad pink and green. My room has no theme, its just whatever I have with some sets of a set that is an old, faded, white gold. My room feels dark and it reminds me of many pasts. I am going to minimize my items and move them out in boxes. I want to get rid of all my current furniture and get new ones. While the old ones are out, I will paint my wall white, or a cream. I will build and add my new furniture to the room. Than unpack what I decided to keep. My room will not be cluttered and it will be beautiful. I want the theme to be blue and white. I hope this will give me a better outlook, and a brighter, calmer, and happier presence. I also decided to do this because I hope when I'm out of high school I can take a year off of everything. I just want a moment with myself, to learn and love mys

I wrapped my arms around her waist. She looks into my eyes as the music begins, we begin to swing as she takes to lead. I love her. Her arms around me as the beautiful music plays. Every instrument playing. The candles on the wall shine and put a glow on her face that I could never forget. I wish I could be in this moment forever, dancing with her. I love her, and I could love her forever.