Dear Michaela

Dead Michaela,
Hi, I’m your sister, we are 19 years apart which is insane, my relationship with our mother wasn’t always good and I tried to ignore your existence for a bit. But after a few months, your cute little toothless smile caught my heart. I’m sitting here next to you thinking about how it’s impossible to imagine you growing. To imagine you running around, getting your heart broken, being an adult. Even though I’ll be 40 before then it’s so insane to imagine, I’ve never been around a baby really before enough to think about stuff like this. I want you to know a few things and I hope they always stick with you and I hope you can look back on this. No matter how bad a heartbreak is, you’ll always be loved no matter how much it feels like your not. You’ll always be able to run to me if your parents suck because they definitely will. No matter what anyone says you are beautiful and you never should feel the need to change yourself. It took me 19 years to love my body and I hope you can love yours every second. Fuck people at school and old people who can’t keep their opinions to themselves. Also always remember the stuff you post on the internet is always there and you will regret everything you post before your 18. I will always deny I like you to keep up appearances but when we are playing game cube in my room I’ll hug and kiss your forehead because you’ll always have me. I cry watching shows about siblings dying or being kidnaped Because I want you to have a better life than us, me and your parents. But I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to an extent. And I’ll help you fight your parents so you can be exactly who you need and want to be. Whatever you become, unless you kill cats, you’ll be perfect. I mean don’t do coke let’s not fight on this. You’ll be better than your parents. Remember to be open-minded, the world is dying so do your part no matter how small, and I love you.