My 20th Birthday

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I'm writing this the day before my birthday, you'll be seeing this the day after. This year is different than all the rest before. Its really weird yah know? I mean this year is different either way but my birthday is normally kinda sad. When I was younger it was stupid kid stuff or the fact my half-sister refused to see me. But after my dad died it was always sad because I always thought of what he wanted for me and what he wanted to see. At his funeral, his doctor, who he saw a lot, said how my dad wanted to see me walk down the aisle and grow older and stuff like that. Anyway, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was really young and it never helped yah know. my point is this year I grew a lot, I found myself, and I love myself. My relationship with my family has gotten insanely better. And life overall is better. So my birthday is around again and this time I don't feel sad. I feel like me, I feel like I'm growing older which is horribly scary but now that it's less than 12 hours away, I feel okay, I feel like my heart is full and I know ill figure everything out, eventually. I almost feel like crying just because I feel okay. And also my little sister is turning one, two days after me. And yah know I'm a little jealous about all the attention but I love her so much and I'm so happy I get to watch her grow up. Happy birthday Michaela. Happy birthday me.

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